Breakfast with the Team was awesome! Not that we did any monumental, world saving thing -- we just sat with each other, joked about what we were doing to our arteries with our orders, caught up on news from the last two weeks, and generally enjoyed being in each others company. AND Pam came with Dan, which gave us an absolute rose among a bunch of old thorns. I hadn't seen Pam since Margaret got really sick, and she kept up through Dan or with emails. Steve got back from South Fla., and said that suddenly his wife has changed from crying to happy and smiling. That has got to give him a small break from the frustrations of Alzheimers. And Diane is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday and George reports that she is more than ready to find an end to the pain she has been in for way too long. Bill's wife was running in a 5K today. Life is real -- full of everything that makes being together rich and challenging. I am so fortunate to have folks like Pam and all the guys caring what happens to me!
On the way home, the radio was playing some oldies -- two back to back songs about memories. With no warning, I found myself flooded with good memories -- of songs we liked, of things we did with songs in the background. And then I was home -- alone. As I walked through the house, I realized that two things were really very real -- Margaret is not coming back and the richness of memories also includes memories of things left undone, unsaid, unexperienced, and put off. Realized I don't have a lot of choice about which of those memories come up. I also realized that I am mad at her for leaving me with having to figure out how to make it. Good memories reassure me that she is still with me in spirit, but they also remind me that I can't ask her silly little things as I go about any of the tasks around the house and how profoundly I miss her.
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