Day 34 -- Taking the theoretical and making it real

After coffee on the lanai and a good breakfast, I determined to quit talking about what I should be doing, and just do it.  Since tomorrow is wash day, I determined that today will be straightening and tossing day.  The fact that Nancy is coming Monday does play some small part and I did today for me and pretty well suppressed the "what will people think" motivation.  Anyway, not only did I dump files that have been laying around, I also emptied waste baskets and learned the ones would fit the liners I had bought.  Didn't make the bed though -- I'll be stripping it in the morning.  Also put all of Margaret's medication in one box - I'm going to ask the Pharmacist at Publix for suggestions for disposal.
During the day -- as I was going about these various chores, and other activities, I had the strangest feeling.  At one point, I was sitting in my chair, taking a break, and found myself experiencing the thought/feeling that Margaret would be back home soon (as if she had just gone shopping or to a meeting or conference.  This had to be like phantom pain (when one loses a body part), so I guess you could call it  a phantom expectation.  These words do not carry the impact of the experience -- it felt very real, and did not go away fast when I did a reality check.  Never knew that could happen!
Went to Westshore Mall today -- walked the circuit.  Looked at watches in all the department stores, and in the cases of the Jewelry stores.  Came to the decision that I just going to take the watches I have that come the closest to what I am looking for, get them repaired, and enjoy their new life!  After going to the Sears wall of kitchen utensils, I decided to go back to Williams-Sonoma, get the really neat ladle they have (the one Margaret got in a wedding shower has seen its better days), and also get a ceramic knife I have been wanting to try.  And all of this will be on a gift card!  What is significant about all this is I never have been a shopper -- in the past would rather go pick up one item in a store -- or order it -- than wonder around, cross pricing and just browsing.
So maybe this new life is starting to take some kind of shape.  Or at least the routine necessities are being addressed, and I am finding that gathering and disposing of the "later's" is not as difficult or intimidating as I thought.