Day 11 -- But it really depends on the routine

Woke up at about 3 am -- couldn't get back to sleep till after 5.  Then my alarm work me at 7.  Unfortunately, the routine is still fuzzy enough that I spent most of the morning napping.  After a little fussing at myself for taking the passive way to deal with what was going on, I got some paperwork done that I had been putting off and then started preparing for Couples Club that is meeting at the Spall's tonight.  Got myself cleaned up -- rehearsing going to the meeting and deciding how much I was willing to share about Margaret's illness.  I got some cards ready with the memories address and this blog address, in case anyone wanted the information -- and took along some bookmarks.
Just as I closed the backdoor behind me, after being sure the knob was locked, I realized that  my car keys and house keys were still in the house.  Unfortunately, I had thrown the deadbolt on the front door, so the new key pad lock was of little use.  Called Lee -- thank goodness he was in town and was just starting his new class -- to see if he could come use his key to let me back in.  Starting a new class with new students meant that I got some very good thinking and sorting time sitting on the lanai (back porch) with that fan I installed just for this purpose several months ago. 
I was very fortunate that I had to wait.  Missed the Couples Club.  Probably had worked myself up to a higher level of concern than I realized -- so little wonder that I "accidentally" locked myself out.  For the record -- spare keys are now in place, and  can be reached with all three dead bolts thrown.  Lee was a real champ to get his students occupied, and  take a quick break to come unlock the door. Just sitting for about three hours was a good thing.  I had to deal with my own inner resources.  Called Meg and had a very good conversation with her.  She very skillfully feeds me back to me -- sometimes not as gently as her Mom would -- but none-the-less very effective in helping me see me.  Realized I am staying alone too much, and instead of using the energy that is generated by being alone, I just take the depressive route, believe there is nothing I can do,  or doing something would be too much trouble.  I made up my mind to find more ways to get out of the house; reminded myself that I was going to use the Wii for exercise in the morning and then do about an hour in the yard.  That is the routine that brings freedom -- and contributes to the juices to use my energy creatively instead of passively.  We shall see what tomorrow brings.