Monday, May 17, 2010

Day 22 -- a new week starts...

The day was cloudy -- and I realized that I had only partially fixed the sprinklers in the front.  That will hold until I can get to the store, pick up some new pop-ups and do a proper repair -- which could really mean relocating them to the edge of the driveway.  We shall see.
By arrangement, today was a check-in day.  I had an appointment at 2 with Laura.  Helen came at one and I left her cleaning the house and headed to Lifepath.  On the way, Debbie called about the email I referred to her from CGP, and we discussed the process we already had in place for Guides.  Good conversation -- cut short because I wanted to make my appointment.
The time with Laura was well spent.  Plenty of going in and out of my grief, and explored some of the areas that, in the past, I could only observe.  Found I could move easily in and out of some of the feelings of sadness, aloneness, abandonment, pleasant memories mixed with regrets for past actions not taken.  Also did some dealing with my taking the passive (easy) way out, and learning the subtleties of trying to get comfortable with being proactive about myself and my wants.  Laura very kindly reminded me that it has only been a little over a month since Margaret died -- and I realized she was helping me alert to trying to get in too big a hurry at the expense of experiencing the newness of this process and giving these feeling plenty of room to be what they are, and relish the experience.  Also got affirmation of my use of this blog to do a daily summary.
The week is pretty busy -- several appointments: some business, some giving me a change to rejoin the real world.   Went shopping for a particular piece of software to use in preparation for redoing our personal business -- had to go to 4 stores to find it -- and did not get into a big hurry to get it up and running. I have almost had enough of hiding in this house.

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