Day 153 -- 9/28/10 -- A sucessful trial

 The visit from Matt R. originally  scheduled for early morning, was delayed until  noon,  and it was very productive in getting me well informed of where all of the  investments are so that I can recognize them when reported. He also gave me a good alternative and revised strategy for handling Lee's  life insurance that the company has been carrying on him.
The great part of the day, and the successful trial, was a trip to Clearwater to spend the afternoon with Christian, Jamie,  Allie, Bella and Spike What made it  really great was that they all took me in as a part of the household, didn't try to do anything to entertain me or do something special–I just got to hang out. I took some steak and potatoes with me so that between the three of us we prepared a really great dinner together, and had great fun demonstrating the obvious need for a dining room table.

My intent on this trip was to test the drive back over the Causeway late in the evening. I was not quite ready to drive that far in the dark, so I left about seven, got home by 7:30–and even believed it safe enough that I took a few quick pictures with my iPhone of the gorgeous  sky that we had today.  Made the trip safely, and after getting into comfortable clothes, called Jamie to tell her I was home, and also pass on a suggestion if she should be talking to her brother-in-law again soon.  The trip -- both ways -- was uneventful, the food superb, the company exquisite, and the trial more than successful.   Maybe the next time I go over,  I will push the time line a bit, and see what it is like with oncoming headlights.  But then, maybe not.

It was a good day!  This morning, I was sending a Thank You and some Sympathy Cards.  In the process, I ran across the birthday card that Margaret had chosen (to recycle) for me -- one of our traditions.  I really lost it for a few moments, recovered, and continued on the task at hand.  Didn't read all of the card, though.  I know where it is, and maybe I'll be able to read it another day.  It was a good reminder that in the midst of all the busyness I am doing right now, my main task continues, and I will always have brief reminders that I am alone -- that particular kind of alone that always carries a reminder of something I treasured about Margaret.  I am convinced that my only choice is to learn to live with that aloneness, no matter what I do or where I go, or what I see.  The best news is that is not the end of the story -- just a sign post.