Perhaps it's because it's the beginning of September--perhaps it's because all schedules are “going back to normal”–perhaps it's the time accomplished for me to notice that I am alone. At any rate, there is plenty of activity going on all around and I have the good fortune to be included. Christian called a little while ago to ask for my help with any stopped up sink. Tomorrow morning I will take my plumber's snake, electric blower, and electric chain saw for Christian to use.
Lee and Renée got an evening for themselves while the boys were at the other grandparents–the weight of what is happening to their house and job-search bears really very heavy on them right now. There are times when I almost feel guilty that I am so occupied with my grief that I don't do more to try to help those kids out–but then I'm not sure what I could do to lighten their load.
Things are looking good for the Regency Cove driver safety program–most likely will happen on October 6 and 7. I told Bob that I would get something written this weekend to be placed in their monthly newsletter announcing the program and probably will make some posters to be posted in the clubhouse on the property. Also two members of the couples club will be participating in the driver safety program at HydePark. Today I got the announcement that there is a website just for AARP volunteers and spent a few minutes there looking for resources to use.
Had to go see Steve to try to figure out what's happening to my hearing aids. When I described what is going on, Steve simply asked for the two aides so he could send him back to the factory for refreshing. Old Mr Responsible was still giving me a hard time about not taking off of my aids before I started sweating so much during exercise, Steve just saw that as sufficient justification for sending the equipment back to the manufacturer.
Either tomorrow or Tuesday I will get a new 7 port hub so I can hook up this ever-increasing number of devices to the computer without blowing it up. I now have three printers, this headset that I use for dictating, and I need a port for synchronizing my iPhone and downloading photos from my camera. Having a 7 port hub will make using all these things much more convenient.
The CPAP and I are getting along much better–I just expected that the adjustment would not take as long as it has and then I remember that it has not yet been 30 days–that's next week.
So there is a lot going on; there is a lot that I can be involved in and I am learning the real meaning of going on alone together. The whole issue of Margaret and I being part of a larger being and trying to find a way to capture that is constantly churning in my mind. On the way to get my ears fixed another nuance came up and I tried to send it to myself by e-mail. I think I'm going to have to get Christian or Lee to check out my iPhone and see why it is so reluctant to send e-mail. And that is just another example of what is so different now–there are things that I would like to ask somebody to do or have somebody do for me and I don't have anyone to try out the requests before I actually make it. For most folks that's probably not a big deal--for me it is a statement of the loss of something that has been so very familiar. John Denver's Annie's Song begins “you fill up my senses" and that is a clue to what I know is missing for me at times like this. My prayer is that I won't try to replace that with busy work.
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