I had arranged to meet with Bernie at Hyde Park UMC. Because of his Chaplaincy background, plus the varying positions he has held at the church, I decided he would be the one I would let know that I am open to establishing a relationship with a different church. I told him that I was looking toward Hyde Park first because of the long time relative distant relationship I have had with the church. I also acknowledge that because it is a Methodist Church, there is some administrative baggage, and I would need reassurance from Jim (the Senior) that he was willing to deal with any extra energy that would be brought on administratively. The conversation with Bernie was really quite good. I did get into one of my favorite philosophical/theological, and shared with his where I am in thinking about the issues of agendas in a relationship and expanded the concept with his a little bit -- characterizing the agenda hidden from the individual as a possible location for our essence, but also our dark side because of our resistance to let that agenda see the light of day. This also has a lot of implication for the phenomena that we call "conversion" and the individuals finding God in their lives as it's center. Probably, with some more conversations like this, a white paper may become a reality. Have to sketch some of it out and send it off to Danny.
Bernie was most gracious and accepting. He was open enough to acknowledge that my conversation down the agenda path was useful to him. He also acknowledge that it just isn't his thing to go down the philosophical/theological/behavioral path with any frequency -- saying he spends most of his figuring out time in the context of the people he is dealing with in reality. He was most gracious.
I did find out that he most likely was at the hospital around 7pm on April 8th. When I shared the time line with him and what was going on with Margaret at that time, he concurred that he had been observing the no visitor sign. That also prompted me to tell him about the no-clergy part -- he was appropriately amazed and concerned. He also told me about being at the bedside when Jim Ferman, Sr. went home.
I was a little surprised and pleased with the amount of transparency I offered to Bernie. I asked him to look around and see if there is a place he could see me fitting into the life of the church. I acknowledged that in many ways I have already started (in the back door) through the DSP, which he was aware of. It will be interesting to see how the seeds I planted will grow with Bernie. I do not know how fertile and moist the soil is, but I will be looking for any evidence of sprouts.
By the by -- just before I left to meet with Bernie, Heather called to explain to me the insurance foul up, and that it was all fixed. It was really a "wrong form" administrative issue. I thanked Heather for her graciousness in dealing with my grumpiness over the way it was handled by Citizens.
Decided to watch the movie "Invictus" this evening. Very surprisingly, I found tears in my eyes on several occasions -- usually when the Mandella character was being successful as a change agent, and getting confirmation of his life work. I guess the unsettled part about what me future and life will be was a strong contributer to that. Also I realized I had really taken a lot of risk with Bernie -- and while I was not regretting that, there is that scared little boy inside wondering if I had done the wrong thing. Only time will tell.
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