Day 69 -- A very different Fourth

Started today with the Sunday routine.  Watched Sunday Morning and Christ Matthews.  Made wafles for the freezer. Finished up the update to the website, and then got notes out to Lee, Marcia and Debbie, asking them to check to be sure I covered everything that needed updating.
Most of the day was spend missing Margaret.  It seemed as if I could not do anything without bumping into a reminder that what we used to do is not going to happen -- and I missed her.  Tight throat, tears, depression, feeling useless, wanting to know that I had something to do that meant something and involved others -- the whole range of feeling just seemed to be on an endless loop.

A good thing -- I asked and got a picture of Jarrod in his new glasses.  He really looks great! 
By the time the Fourth celebrations on TV came around, my mood was rather somber.  Did gain some information from the programs about how the fireworks are made and programmed.  The actual celebrations -- in DC, New York, and Boston -- all seemed to be much sound and smoke.  Didn't find much inspiration, nor much to lift me from my funk.  Could hear the piccolo solo in the Boston Pops rendention of the "Stars and Stripes"!  At least the hearing aids are working correctly.
My night sweats seem to be getting worse -- and the sleep study is Tuesday evening.  Maybe there is hope that a fix can be found.  Maybe tomorrow I'll be done with my funk.  Tonight, I'm going to take a shower and go to bed.