The DSP session went well -- only had 6 there. Of the nine who were left on the list, two had some physical difficulty, and one just didn't show. We also had a frog strangler that went on and on -- starting last night and continuing most of today. The interaction was good -- not the most active group. They had all taken the course before and were primarily there to get the certificate for the insurance discount.
Got home -- had to finish up some paperwork for DSP. Also had to answer several emails -- some asking for future meetings to follow up on past conversations. When all that was done, I started fixing my late supper and it hit me. I was really missing Margaret. There was that moment when I had to deal with the idea that she was just as a meeting and would be back soon. And then the realization that I was missing her and something about that was different. Yes, part of it was I didn't have my partner to "take down" the meeting like we did so often. And yes, there was no one to discuss the calls and emails that came in. But the missing was not that more familiar tight throat, churning belly, alone that has been happening in the past.
No conclusions -- for the first time in many nights, the CPAP really worked well and I had a good, full, restful night's sleep -- dreaming and all! Maybe I am integrating more that I realize, and am beginning to understand what the reality of being alone, being individually responsible/accountable, and still being strongly connected to Margaret feel like. The more I think about it, what happened this evening was that I was missing Margaret's physical presence and I knew I she is with me.
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